4.30.2004

The SWAT

Busted ankles,
And 360 dunks.
All that shit,
is for the little punks.

True men know,
there is just one thing.
One thing alone,
that packs the most zing.

It's when a guy like Led steals,
Starts busting down the court.
Gets past most the team,
Made one dude's legs contort.

It's when he goes for the dunk,
Trying to be what he's not.
That's when I slap it against the glass
and yell out SWAT.
Last Call

One last poem,
One last song.
To play at my funeral,
when all traces are gone.

To my good, great friends,
and the laughs that we had.
Melissa please don't cry,
I'm sorry I always made you sad.

To Hux, Dave, and Jeff
The guys, to whom I could always go.
Here's to catch in the hall,
The jokes about GI Joe.

To Mom, Dad, and Krista
The greatest family I could have asked for.
You raised me the best you could,
I never wanted anything more.

And while you look at my picture,
Just know on this day,
Don't be teary-eyed or sad,
This could not have happened any other way.

4.28.2004

Ledvina's Webpage

Did i just get served by what he wrote? I'm not really sure, it says it was motivated by what I wrote, but was I one of the people referenced in those SWATs dished out in that long ass paragraph? If so we can solve this with some 1-on-1 on the BBall courts after doing a handle race(with everclear). Either way, we're still gonna be runnin from the cops this summer, I'll just have to drive.

holla

4.27.2004

Here are my honest thoughts of people who affect my life...
just in case you didn't know how i felt bout ya

(in no particular order...)
Jeff: A best friend
Hux: Also a best friend
Rid aka Old Man: Another best friend/Funniest person I know/companion in bitching about shadiness of it all
Juan: A really nice guy but seems to have the potential to kill somebody
Led: One of the most awesome guys I know, I regret not chillin and gettin pulled over by the cops more with him in high school
Keith: Is probably one of the meanest people I have met, but I know he has a really good side to him that most people dont see, which gives me hope that the nice keith will someday prevail
Greg Dowell aka jesus: appreciate his brutal honesty in all subjects, because not too many people too that
Melissa: i dont understand how i can love her and dislike her so much at the same time, but i do
Lindsey: probably one of my best woman friends that i have, i can tell her anything cause i know she'll rip on me no matter what im going to say
Steph: will always have my heart no matter how much or how little i talk to her or see her or anything
Jill: I like her personality, because it seems she actually has some innocence in her, and that isnt around too much these days
Hannah: her always chipper attitude seems to brighten my day whenever i talk to her
Malone: I could probably talk for hours about baseball and the Cubs with him and that is always a good thing
Ganz/Gayler/Reid: Can always look to them to have some good laughs, and yes, i forgot about Reid when i originally made the list, but hey, when a man gets ya some capt morgan, you gotta put him on the list
Kimak: Another guy i can always talk Cubs or any ol' subject with, definately a good quality


I apologize if you're reading this and were left of the list, that means 1 of 2 things. Either I,
1)Really really dont like you
or
2)You dont do anything that has any impact on my life
EITHER WAY
if you are offended by this,
please chill out, drink a beer, and realize
it doesnt matter at all
its just my opinion and yall shouldnt curr if i dont curr ya hurr?

Holla

4.23.2004

Purpose

Wishing I had been caught,
I ponder a decision.
Am I the only one who sees
life this way?
As cruel, not unusual,
painful, mean, and corrupted.
As if everyone is being devoured
by the immorality of everyday life.
Taken in its grasp as a child,
torn, twisted, and turned
For the worse.
Innocence annihilated by the culture
That we have created.
It's not children shooting children,
But mankind's cruelty towards each other.
Our selfish degradation of
Every other living person.
We are not blind,
As we can easily see our own needs.
However, someone once said,
"That is the most selfish thing a person can do."
And the more I think,
The more I agree.
Since liberating oneself of the world's misery,
Is just an easy road out.
But, to stand up for my beliefs,
Now that is just the opposite.
Because instead of taking myself from
All this corruption, sin, and evil.
I will take what is immoral
Away from this world.

4.19.2004

Yo I got A D D tho...

After spending 2 and a half hours driving from good ol palatine back to Chambana last night, I came upon a realization: I have never REALLY studied in my life. Now, I have "studied" by going over stuff for about 20-30 minutes perhaps the day before the test if not the day of, but i have never really put in over an hour into one single test study session. All i ever did through high school and junior high was just "show up" and i would get by with fairly decent grades. That was all I needed to do. However, now that I have reached college, showing up(even though that sometimes doesnt happen) doesnt get the job done and I am getting my ass kicked by easy classes.

So let's say i actually try to sit down and study, here's what happens. For the first five or so minutes i can focus on what i am supposed to do, but then comes the big problem. Some stupid, off topic thought will creep into my head and ill just spend a minute or two thinking about that. Then something else will pop into my head and i start thinking about that. But, as i try to fight this and focus on studying, i dont get any real studying done because my mind is too busy fighting the thoughts about whatever stupid thing i was thinking about. it really is a vicious cycle and at some point im going to need to break that cycle. I assumed a D+ in chemistry and a 2.6 gpa would wake my ass up but it didnt.

So what do i do...take drugs? Ridalin? Adderall? Cocaine? I need something cause the grades arent gettin any better.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. The sad thing is i should be studying for a big math test but i'm sitting here writing this...

4.15.2004

I'm getting sloppy drunk tonight.

4.14.2004

First blog might as well start out with a story of my own humiliation. Ok, so I made the very, very bad mistake of actually trusting my friends on Scott 3 with holding my vodka for a couple weeks. So, a friend of mine swaps my vodka with water. I noticied it last week when I poured a flask of it and went to a party while i was thinking, "hey, this tastes like water," but i was too drunk to really care. The kicker was tonite when i offer a friend a birthday shot of this "vodka" and when i take it i think, "what the shit, this is water." And not to be a little bitch i go chew out the guy who was holding it for the last 2 weeks. I bitch at him, I yell at him, I point a vicious finger at him...all while my good friends watch and snicker to themselves. Then the culprit comes clean and says he took it as he watches my pissed off face walk down the hall. Where's Ashton Kutcher? I don't see him? But I should cause I just got PUNK'D. Yes I was furiously pissed off, and yes I meant every word of it, BUT i apologize to those yelled at and those who witnessed the escapade. I just wanted to stand up for myself for once but ended up getting played in the end. Oh whats up life, you giving me a chance to prove myself...?....SWAT. I just got swatted. Oh well, I'm going to take my naive, optimistic, the world is NOT corrupted views with me and continue on in my life.

Now let this be a lesson to all...you can screw me over, take my money, and kick me in the pants, but dont ever, and I mean EVER touch my vodka. Or there will be serious consequences.