99 Problems (the Santa Claus Remix)

he's got the wrap patrol on the gift patrol
foes that wanna make sure his workshop's closed
Jew people that say he's 'cookies, milk, snow'
he's from the pole, stupid, what type of facts are those
if you grew up with elves in your bedroom shelves
you'd a hit the sleigh before you was reachin twelve
so screw kwanzaa, it can kiss his whole red nose
if you don't like his beard than you can just eat snow
got beef with miss claus if he dont come home
she don't deliver gifts, and he don't give a shit, ho!
all these malls try to use his face
cause, little kids will give em more cash this way...phonies
i dont know what you take him as
or understand the deer that ol' kringle has
he's from, coal to candy kiddies, i aint dumb

i got 99 problems
but the Claus aint one
hit me!